Models on Writing Task 1

Models on Writing Task 1

Trương Văn Ánh
Trường Đại học Sài Gòn
Format of Task 1
Paragraph 1: Introduction – General describing graphs, charts, tables, processes or objects
Paragraph 2: Detailing one aspect/graph
Paragraph 3: Detailing another/the other aspect/graph
Paragraph 4: Detailing the last aspect/graph
Paragraph 5: Summary



You should spend about 20 minutes on this Task.
The first graph below shows the weight (in tonnes) of fruit produced by a farm during each month in 2013, and also the amount (in tonnes) of fertiliser used. The second graph shows the volume of rainfall in each month (in millimetres.)
Write a report summarising the information. Select and describe the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.








The charts give information regarding the tonnage of fruit produced in a farm per month in 2013, the fertiliser used and the monthly rainfall in that year.
We can see that fruit production rose steadily from just over 2 tonnes in January to a peak of roughly 4.2 tonnes by August. Output then fell rapidly, declining to around the initial 2 tonne mark in December. However, looking at fertiliser use, we see that this seasonal pattern is largely reversed: the most fertiliser (just under 1 tonne) was utilised in April, followed by a marked decline to zero in June and July. Fertiliser consumption then increased slightly in the autumn, rising to a total of around 0.7 tonnes before dipping to just below 0.5 tonnes at year end.








Regarding rainfall, this appears to reflect the use of fertiliser, with an early high of 16mm in February, falling consistently to 4mm in July, August and September. Rainfall then increased steadily to reach 14mm in December.
In summary, this farm generally employed the most fertiliser at seasons of high rainfall, and by contrast it produced the most fruit when both rainfall and fertiliser use were around their lowest.
(196 words)








Model 1 Examiner’s Comments
This essay would receive Band 9 in IELTS. The candidate gives a brief paraphrase of the Task introduction, and then deals with each chart in turn. He correctly identifies the trend in chart 1 (fruit increases as fertiliser decreases) and uses a small selection of figures to describe this, making it clear that he sees the trend (“this seasonal pattern is largely reversed. . .”) He makes it clear that he understands this is a ‘movement’ type Task by using the past simple to describe the changes, but he does not simply ‘list’ the sequence of figures in order.







He identifies the second trend (fertiliser use follows rainfall levels) and selects key figures to demonstrate this. The summary reinforces the trend among the 3 elements (fruit, fertiliser and rainfall.) He correctly makes no attempt to explain or give reasons for the trends.
Paragraphs are organised to follow the charts. The language used is clear and neutral, with no emotion or personal tone. The simple past is rightly used, because the year is shown(2013) He makes it clear which charts he is discussing (“We can see . . . looking at . . . regarding”) and uses a
variety of vocabulary to describe movements (decline/rise/dip/fall etc.)








He uses marked/slightly/steadily/rapidly etc. to show that he understands the rate of the changes. He uses phrases such as reversed and by contrast to emphasise the comparison of the patterns.
The impression is of a candidate who has analysed the trends and selected key data to show that he understands them, without excessive detail.








You should spend about 20 minutes on this Task.
The charts below compare five different countries, showing the electricity used (measured in megawatts or mw) in a typical hospital during one week, and also the number of emergency medical calls made by local residents during the same week. The last chart shows the average time (in minutes) spent on assessing emergency cases by hospital medical staff before the patients are treated.
Write a report summarising the information. Select and describe the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.

















The charts show electricity use, local emergency calls and time spent on patients for a group of typical hospitals.
Regarding electricity, we see that consumption in the French and Japanese hospitals is roughly stable during the week, fluctuating around 32 and 18 mw respectively. In Canada and Russia, electricity use climbs dramatically towards the end of the week, going from 26 to 38 mw and from 12 to 24 mw. In Argentina, however, the use actually declines by almost half.








There is a similar pattern in the number of emergency calls made, which fluctuate in France (around 90 calls) and Canada (around 110.) In Canada these calls rise by roughly half, from around 105 on Monday to over 160 on Sunday, with the figure in Russia showing a similar growth to 110 by the weekend. Argentina is again the exception, with a decline of about half.
By contrast, time spent on patient assessment is generally stable during the week in all the countries except Russia, where there is a marked rise from Monday’s 12 minutes (which is the typical daily rate of each country except Japan) to 28 minutes on Sunday.








In summary, it seems that electricity use may reflect an increase in emergency calls made, but only in Russia does assessment time increase by the same pattern.
(211 words)








Model 2 Examiner’s Comments
This candidate would achieve band 9 for this essay. The Task is complex, but the candidate correctly groups the data in a logical way. She introduces the paragraph about electricity clearly and groups France/Japan together (fluctuating trend), then Canada/Russia together (rising trend) and finally she points out that Argentina is an exception (declining.)








In the emergency calls paragraph, the candidate shows that she sees a similar trend, with the same 4 countries grouped together and Argentina being different.
In the patient assessment paragraph, she makes it clear that the trend is not continued (all countries are stable, there is no grouping) and that Russia is now the exception (rising.)








The charts contain a large amount of data, but the candidate selects some key figures to illustrate the trends. The detail is precise but carefully chosen. There is a variety of structures to present the figures, including the phrase ‘respectively’ and the correct use brackets in the third
paragraph. The candidate uses roughly half/about half to show that she understands the proportions, without adding too much detail.
The summary is very effective, because it sums up the key trends described (the relationship between electricity/emergency calls) and it also highlights the exception of Russia in the assessment time chart.








You should spend about 20 minutes on this Task.
The chart below shows the number of passengers arriving at a train station per hour across a day, and also the average price (in US Dollars) of their tickets.
Write a report summarising the information. Select and describe the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.








The table gives data about passenger volumes reaching a station every 2 hours in a day, and also the average ticket cost at those times.
Passenger numbers peak 3 times during the day. For example, the number at 6am is 480, rising to 690 by 8am before falling again. There is then a peak of 700 at midday, followed by an afternoon decline to a low of 230 at 4pm. A third spike is at 6pm, reaching 670 before tailing off.








The ticket prices partially follow this pattern. The 8am passenger surge is matched by a high price of $29, followed by a peak of $31 at midday and a decrease to $17 by 4pm. However, the 6pm spike in passenger numbers is accompanied by a low of $11 in prices, with a subsequent rise to $22 at 8pm and a final levelling off.
In summary, ticket prices increase broadly in line with passenger traffic, except during the evening rush hour when they actually fall.
(164 words)








Examiner’s Comments
This is a fairly simple Task, so we would expect a high standard of reporting. This essay achieves Band 9 due to its clarity and description of the key trends.
The introduction sentence is well paraphrased. The candidate groups the data into passenger numbers firstly, and states the trend (3 peaks) in the first main body paragraph. She gives a series of selected figures to show the peaks. She then introduces the ticket prices group, and explains the trend (‘partially follow this pattern’), giving selected figures to illustrate. She introduces the exception with ‘However’ and then explains the exception (the 6pm figure), giving selected figures to describe it and show how it is different.








The summary has a concise description of the trends and the exception, with no unnecessary detail.
The candidate uses a variety of language (eg ‘peak/spike, tailing off/levelling off, rise/surge,
decline/decrease’) and uses the ‘before + -ing’ structure very effectively (eg ‘rising to X before falling to Y’ etc). The overall impression is of a well-organised candidate writing in a clear way.








You should spend about 20 minutes on this Task.
The table shows data about the average length of time (in minutes) that people of different ages spend in a consultation with family doctors in a number of countries.
Write a report summarising the information. Select and describe the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.








The chart gives information about the typical time that patients spend with doctors in various countries, split by age group.
We can see that the most common trend is for the time to increase consistently with age. For example, the figure in France more than doubles from 16 to 38 minutes between the youngest and oldest people. Likewise, the USA figure rises from 13 to 31, the UK from 9 to 21, and Italy from 17 to 29. These are all substantial increases. Chile has a consistent but much slighter climb, from 32 to 39 minutes.








Brazil also shows a rise, although after age 60 there is a decline from 26 minutes to an eventual 20. India has a more marked rise and fall, peaking at 21 minutes for people aged 40 to 60, declining to 11 minutes for 70 plus.
Two countries are exceptions. Japan fluctuates across the age groups, between 12 and 16 minutes. Kenya declines steadily as age increases, from 15 minutes for the youngest to 10 minutes for the oldest people.








Overall, time spent with doctors generally increases with age, except in Japan and Kenya.
(181 words)








Examiner’s Comments
This is a high quality Band 9 essay, with logical grouping of data and clear explanation of
trends and exceptions.
The candidate paraphrases well in the introduction, and then in the main body she very clearly introduces the main group trend (time increases consistently with age.) She then gives 4 selected figures to demonstrate this group (France, USA, UK, Italy.) She begins a new paragraph and puts Brazil and India in this group, which is logical, but she is careful to point out that they are slightly different (they rise and decline) using suitable figures from the data.








The next paragraph shows that she sees the exceptions (Japan and Kenya) and explains why they are different (fluctuation and decline respectively) using a ‘range set’ (“between 12 and 16” etc) without too much detail. The summary sentence is rather short, but it sums up the main trends/exceptions well and does not repeat details.








The language is varied but always clear; present simple tense is used correctly; the candidate uses phrases to qualify the verbs (eg “consistently, steadily, marked, generally”); similarities are clearly indicated (eg similar, likewise) and the candidate seeks to show the proportion of the rise in the main group (“For example, the figure in France more than doubles.”)
Trying to explain or suggest reasons for the situation is a frequent error in Task 1 data essays, but this candidate does not make that mistake.








You should spend about 20 minutes on this Task.
The charts show (Chart a) the average speed of urban zone traffic (in kilometres per hour or kph) in a number of countries over a fifty year period, including a future estimate; and also (Chart b) the total number of urban zones per country (in thousands.)
Write a report summarising the information. Select and describe the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.








The charts show the average velocity of city traffic over a fifty year timescale, with a forecast for the future, and also the amount of urban zones by country.
We can see that the general trend is for the speed to increase and then decrease. For example, in France, it increased from 60 kph in 1970 to a peak of 86 kph in 1990, tailing off to a forecast 52 kph in 2020. Similarly, we see the USA peak at 57 kph in 1990, declining to 43 kph at the end. The UK and Russia have a similar trend, rising to 56 and 72 kph respectively in 2010 before falling to below the starting level. The same happens in Canada with a decline from 69 kph to 64 kph despite a peak of 73 kph.








Chile, however, fluctuates around 51kph, but remains static over the period. Italy, Brazil and Spain, by contrast, show a clear rise, finishing at 58, 57 and 61 kph respectively.
Regarding urban zones, all countries except one see predicted increases of roughly 4 times by 2020. The exception is Russia, which sees a fall of about half to 3,200.
Overall, the data does not suggest any correlation between increasing urban zones and average traffic speeds.








Examiner’s comments
The Task presents a complex set of data, which could be described in several ways. This candidate takes a logical approach to grouping, and introduces the first data group (“the general trend is for the speed to increase and then decrease”) giving data to illustrate it. Figures are well selected and not excessive, considering the large amount in the Task.








The candidate uses a separate paragraph to explain why Chile is an exception (“remains static”) and then explains why Italy, Brazil and Spain are a separate group (“show a clear rise.”)
The paragraph about the Urban Zones is rather short, but the candidate shows he can see the trend (“increases of roughly 4 times”) and the exception (Russia.) The summary sentence is one of a number of possible options (it could also say “the general trend is for speeds to fall and for urban zones to rise.”)








This candidate has used paragraphing and signposting very helpfully to make the essay clear and to identify the different groups, despite the large amount of data present. It is a good example of a Band 9 data essay.












Good luck!